Prison or oasis - our minds hold the lock, and communicating shares the key

I’m not sure of many things, but if there’s something I am certain of it is my ability to make my head a prison.

Often when my mind is spiralling about something I haven’t grasped yet, I put pressure on myself to only talk about it when I've found the right words. This is an attempt to not burden my listener with the elusive thoughts swirling in my head, like the milk in an ice coffee not fully mixed in yet.

A few people receive these unfiltered thoughts, as they happen in real time. I’m not sure they’d consider themselves lucky, exactly, but they listen with patience. Bless them!

However, when my listener is someone I trust less, I feel I need to get it right before speaking. I believe it's a mix of my fear of getting it wrong, being judged, or worst, being offered advice I haven’t asked for.

I’m not sure what the right analogy is to unlock this cycle. Do others hold a key that I should borrow from them, or should I share my thoughts with them only once the key to clear expression is firmly in my possession?

Wherever the key is hidden, I’d rather present my listener with fully formed thoughts, a coffee with the milk fully mixed in.

Clara Andrade

Copyright: text Clara Andrade; photos Wix.

Posts on this Sydney School of Arts & Humanities blog (www.ssoa.com.au) are published to showcase the work of emerging writers who meet weekly to workshop their short stories, memoir or novels.

These posts comprise some of the responses written in just 10 minutes as a warm up to the meetings.

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